


A Gentleman's Guide to Dancing

by quantumoddity



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Regency, F/M, Forbidden Love, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Regency Romance, Slow Burn, Star-crossed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:14:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22832371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quantumoddity/pseuds/quantumoddity
Summary: Okay, so I watched Little Women and Pride and Prejudice in the same week and this happenedTaako and Lup find themselves fast running out of time. If Taako doesn't secure himself a wealthy wife before the year is out, he and Lup will lose their recently deceased aunt's Manor House that has been their home for so long.Perhaps he will meet someone at the mysterious Countess Raven's harvest ball. Thought he isn't holding out much hope.
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Lup & Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 61
Kudos: 196





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MinkyForShort](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinkyForShort/gifts).



Taako’s shoes were full of snow before they’d gone ten paces.

His good dress shoes too, the only pair he had. Then came his trouser cuffs, the ones he’d spent all morning fixing the fraying hems on. Then his socks, the thick ones he wasn’t really supposed to be wearing to a party so fancy but it was freezing and he’d rather keep his toes than ensure he wouldn’t be embarrassed should someone happen to glance down at his feet. It was all soaked and they hadn’t even crossed the first field. 

And now Taako was looking forward to this night even less. He hadn’t thought that was possible. 

Things got worse when they finally approached the manor house, squatting on top of the rise in the valley, eyeing them balefully with it’s glowing window eyes as if deciding whether to eat them or allow them entrance. Where it didn’t glow with clearly magically assisted candlelight, it was black, everything from the wrought iron gates to the oaken doors to the bricks, right down to the curtains in the windows. 

Just one of the reasons the Countess Raven was considered rather strange around these parts. The curiosity about her, the rumours people were dying to confirm, had undoubtedly brought most of the figures currently stepping out of their elaborate carriages and into her End of Harvest Ball. Semi scandalous gossip all the way to full blown calumnies like how she never unveiled her face, how she’d never married and never had children, how she’d come into her riches probably by way of sacrifice to some deity banned for good reason. Taako imagined a lot of curious guests would be poking through wardrobes hoping to find skeletons, all while pretending to have the slightest interest in the Countess’ new ward who was making his formal debut tonight. 

Not that he did either, that had to be said. But it was a party in the house just a few fields away from their own, a party where there would definitely be available ladies with enormous dowries, couldn’t be avoided.

The prospect only made his heart sink further and turn as cold as his feet, as he stood on the threshold and knocked his shoes against the rockery to clear the snow from them. In that moment he couldn’t think of anything he wanted more than to turn around and go back home, to curl up with a spellbook, to go spend a few hours in his tiny but beloved kitchen, and forget about all of this. 

But then his eyes were drawn to his sister beside him, in finery as threadbare as his own. She was frozen in the act of knocking the snow from her own shoes, ones that would let the icy water in far worse than Taako’s. Her face was far away, her eyes looking out at the fleet of carriages conveying the other guests to the party without so much as a speck on their brand new clothes. Carriages like the ones they’d used to own but now couldn’t afford anymore than they could fly. He could read her mind as easily as he could read the spellbook he was imagining longingly. 

And Taako remembered there was something he wanted more. He wanted his sister to be happy. He wanted her to be safe, without the constant threat of losing their home. He wanted her to have the life she deserved, one of comfort and simple joys, with the person she wanted to share it with. 

Stifling a sigh, he reached over and tucked a strand of hair back into her graceful updo where the walk had blown it out of place, “Hey. Want to see who can stuff more canapes in their pockets without getting caught? That’d be breakfast sorted.”

Laughter bubbled up on Lup’s lips, drawing her away from the carriages, “Don’t you dare. I’m not helping you if you get kicked out.” 

“I wouldn’t get kicked out,” Taako grinned as they walked into the warmth, pitching his voice below the music and murmur of conversation, “Countess Raven would simply slit my throat and drink my blood to keep herself youthful.”

Lup swatted at her twin’s ear, “Shh! Don’t say things like that. You know she’s just an old woman who didn’t fancy getting married and everyone just assumes that means she’s an evil demon worshipper.” 

“I know, I know, I’m joking,” Taako’s ear twitched in that embarrassing way it did and he grabbed it to make it stop. 

He couldn’t help but appreciate the irony in that. He wondered if he started wearing all black and veiling his face behind midnight silk he could get away with not being pressured into marrying a woman he felt to attraction towards. 

But no. He was fairly certain that kind of eccentricity only worked if you were rich. Which he and Lup certainly were not, not since their aunt passed away. 

This time he allowed himself to sigh, as the ballroom came into view, it’s vaulted ceiling and wide open black oak doors framing those guests already chatting and dancing and making merry. Already he was listlessly scanning for female faces with money attached to their surnames, all while some small part of his brain, one he’d been trying to supress and beat back, lingered on the male faces. 

The same routine, Taako thought miserably, straightening his lapels. Only this time he hoped it would actually lead to success, to a viable match and a change in their fortunes. 

Well. Most of him hoped. 

After a few turns of the ballroom, Taako’s hopes were dull embers in the pit of his stomach. There was a significant shortage of new faces, mostly people from the surrounding manor houses, no one had journeyed from beyond Rockport. 

Which meant all the available ladies in the room were well aware of what a wastrel he’d been just a short year before. How he’d shirked his studies, climbing out of windows and shimmying down the pipes before his tutors could arrive, going out to cause havoc with his untamed magic. How he’d refused to mix with polite company, instead spending his time with people who actually liked him, his sister and several interesting characters from nearby villages. Carpenter apprentices and strange herbalists and aging soldiers more than happy to reenact their dusty battles with a group of youths. 

In short, ladies who knew that until his aunt had died and her lands had been seized, Taako had been a thoroughly unpleasant young elf. And that now he was a thoroughly unpleasant, penniless young elf. 

Taako picked up a glass of wine from a nearby table and sipped at it moodily in the shade of some curtains. Black of course. He let his eyes move lazily around the floor. A handful of people in silks, velvets and crinolines were already engaged in a lazy, graceful dance. The kind that could still facilitate conversation, a dance for early in the evening when things were just getting warmed up. 

Lup was in the middle of it, she loved dancing. She often said it was one of the only things that made these balls worth it. Though she smiled politely and laughed prettily at the unheard banalities of the young heir that had ended up being her partner, Taako could tell her mind was somewhere far away. 

Dancing somewhere far from here. With an entirely different partner, someone who would never even get past the door at a function like this but who was damn smarter than half of the people in this room put together. 

Taako gave a long, steady exhale and set his half empty glass on the windowsill he stood beside. 

Maybe one more turn around the room. It couldn’t hurt. Maybe Lady Miller had forgotten the time Taako had put one of their mansion’s windows through with magically enhanced fireworks that set off all of their many wards at once. 

His damn socks were still soaked. He was going to get trench foot by the time this night was through. 

Taako sighed, flapping his ears irritatedly. They were still ringing from the hiding Lady Miller had given him about the fireworks. As it happened, she hadn’t forgotten in the slightest. In fact, talking to her had led her to finally connect the dots and realise why the loud cackling she’d heard that night had been so familiar. 

His patience was at a very deep and shadowy low. He needed to take five minutes away from people wearing outfits that cost more than his friends had seen in a year of their lives, from viperous gossip about the lady whose champagne and canapes said gossip was mumbled around. From feeling like he wasn’t meant to be here, like he’d been painted onto completely the wrong canvas and was ruining everything. 

Taako gave one last glance across the room to Lup, just to see that she was okay. She was, of course, his sister found it so easy to get along with people. She knew exactly what to say, how to smile, how to come back with a witty comment at just the right time to make everyone laugh. 

_ You could do it too, _ she would always point out carefully when they’d be trudging back to their aunt’s house and his face would be like thunder,  _ it’s all acting, you’re better at that than me.  _

Taako never had an answer to that, beyond a grunt and a sullen shrug. He knew he could act, put on the right face. He just never understood why he had to. 

Why he wasn’t just good enough as himself. 

Knowing his sister was okay, he wandered away from the light and noise, slipping out into the same entrance hallway he’d left wet footprints on the polished floor of as he’d come in. There was no trace of them now, clearly some servants had been dispatched to clear them away so everything could retain it’s pristine quality of having never been lived in. 

He didn’t know where exactly he was going, just that he needed to be alone. Eventually he came upon a door that looked sturdy enough to shut the world away, huge and oaken and, most importantly, unlocked. He slipped inside, just wanting somewhere to dry his socks and sit and not have to think about the looming deadline where he and Lup would become homeless and how every attempt he was making to fix things was a pathetic failure. 

Sound was always the first thing Taako noticed, his large silvan ears catching and funneling everything in. So the crackling fireplace was the first to catch his attention, along with the soft rustling of paper. Next was the smells, burning wood and old paper and leather. 

Then his eyes caught up. And noticed the young man sitting in a wingback chair by the fire, reading and looking very surprised. 

Taako said something very ungentlemanly that would make his aunt’s ghost cringe.

The young man smiled, looking more nervous than askanced, “Hello?”

“Hello,” Taako winced, realising he’d just made two very bad impressions in quick succession, “I’m sorry, I, ah…”

“...was avoiding my mistress’ party?” the man supplied, managing a soft, refined smile, “Same as me?”

“I suppose,” Taako had been about to come up with a lie about assuming this was the bathroom but the man clearly had his number, “Your...your mistress?”

“I’m Countess Raven’s ward,” he explained, seeing the confusion, “Kravitz, most call me.” 

Taako was well aware he was gaping like a fool but he couldn’t help it, “The countess has a ward?”

“I’ve been in the city for the past few years, making my own way,” he didn’t seem surprised that his existence was a mystery, “And even then my mistress isn’t one for sharing...you’re Taako, right? 

He blushed, finding it even more embarrassing now, “Ah, yes. Taako. That’s me.” 

The young man, Kravitz, smiled wider, “I see you walking sometimes, your house is just across from my mistresses…” a blush coloured his own dark cheeks, clearly it was catching, “I mean, you know that. Of course you know that. You live there.”

Taako recovered from the shock, finding their shared embarrassment endearing now, letting it reassure him, “Last time I checked. Though fair warning, it may have been my sister. We’re identical twins.” 

Kravitz nodded, “Oh I know. Mistress told me about the two of you, about your adventures.” 

“Well,” Taako leaned against the wall, “There goes my last shred of hope to make a good impression on you…”

Kravitz laughed at that, his eyes crinkling at the edges. Nice eyes. A nice laugh. A nice face. His hand came out to motion to the seat next to his own, in the warm orange glow of the fire. Taako decided to accept. It was so rare he got a chance to have a nice, easy conversation with someone other than Lup or his friends. It really made a difference when Taako wasn’t trying to present himself as someone he wasn’t. 

“So what brought you to hiding out in the library?” he asked, smiling crookedly as he leaned back and let his feet finally warm and start to dry. 

“Ah, balls and parties aren’t really my thing,” Kravitz admitted, “I never know what to do with myself. It’s like…” 

He seemed to falter and Taako provided an answer, his smile turning to something gentler, “Like there’s a pressure only you can feel. Like everyone else is enjoying themselves and you should too but you just can’t.” 

Kravitz’s eyes met his own in a way they hadn’t yet. He looked awed, “Exactly.” 

“So it’s not only you,” Taako chuckled, “And it’s not only me. That’s comforting.”

“I suppose it is,” when he leaned back, gold winked in his hair, there were bands set in his sweeping dreadlocks. 

And Taako found himself noticing more and more. 

He had a very noble face but there was expression to it, a depth like there was actual life behind his aquiline nose and golden eyes. He had a smile that seemed rare but beautifully soft when it did appear. His hair was in a very unusual style for the gentry, dreadlocks that swept back from a widow’s peak and hung around his shoulders in perfect order. He must have been in the city for some time, if Taako had ever seen this man before he would certainly have remembered him. 

“I was so sorry to hear about your aunt,” Kravitz’s voice had gentled and his face had softened while Taako had been mooning, “My mistress told me.” 

Taako swallowed. A thought budded in the back of his mind, wondering if anyone beyond his friends had ever told him they were sorry for the loss of the closest thing he’d ever had to a parent without immediately tacking on a comment about the future of the house, making it clear what they actually cared about. 

“It was hard,” Taako murmured, determined to keep his voice even, “She went so quickly...she was the last of our family. Now all Lup and I have is each other.” 

Kravitz leaned forward again, towards him, looking like he might be about to offer a hand but was trying to decide if it was the right thing to do, “I’m sorry. I never knew my family so I can’t pretend to understand your loss but…” 

Taako shook himself quickly, sitting bolt upright in his chair, ears standing to attention so fast that they set his queue off center, “It’ll be fine. It’ll all be fine. I’ll marry and my wife’s family will buy auntie’s house and Lup can stay there and I’ll...it’ll be fine.” 

Kravitz blinked, looking slightly alarmed but willing to accept that Taako didn’t want to take the conversation about his aunt further, “I see. You seem to, ah...have things well planned out.”

Taako nodded stiffly, heartbeat starting to pick up the way it did when he was anxious. He hoped his face wasn’t getting all red. 

_ Except everyone thinks I’m a useless, broke strumpet and they’re not wrong. Expect no girl in her right mind would marry me. Except I don’t even want to marry a girl. Except eventually Lup will start to think she’ll have to marry herself off when really she wants Barry and I’ll have failed her again like I have done all my life.  _

_ But except for all that, yes, it’s all planned out.  _

So he didn’t open his ridiculous mouth and let all of that come pouring out, Taako said instead, “You know what the silliest thing is?”

Kravitz tilted his head, “No?”

“I actually love to dance,” Taako smiled tiredly. 

That smile came back, shy and sweet and with its own inherent value, like a rare bird sighted just before dawn, “Well… I truly do make a terrible dance partner but you’re a little short on choices here… I promise to do my very best.” 

Taako didn’t understand his meaning for a few breaths, until he stood- gods, he was tall- and held out a hand to the elf. Heart racing for an entirely different reason now, Taako took it and allowed himself to be drawn to his feet, a smile breaking out on his face, whether it was red or not.

The music from the hall was muffled by the walls and doors between them but it would do. Taako had never been led but he found it was fairly easy, settling his hands on Kravitz’s shoulders and swaying with him until their feet grew brave enough to take those first few steps. They soon found they had to make their own beat of sorts, with the tempo so quiet and with chairs and side tables with chess sets and bookcases to avoid but soon things like that mattered very little. 

Kravitz hadn’t lied, he was a terrible dancer. How someone who sat and rose and simply existed so gracefully could follow steps so rigidly and tensely, Taako had no idea. Before long Kravitz was chuckling self consciously and Taako just couldn’t hold his giggles in. The two of them collapsed into helpless laughter, abandoning all attempts to follow a waltz or any other kind of set dance. Instead they just turned around the room, following something other than laid out steps or even the music. 

Sill grinning, Kravitz reached behind him or maybe he just waved a hand, Taako didn’t catch it, but suddenly the bay doors leading out into the night swung open and with a gust of biting, exhilarating cold, they were dancing out onto the veranda. Taako yelped and clung tighter to Kravitz, letting himself be whirled along. 

And now they were playing a game, twirling from curtain to curtain, grinning and ducking and stumbling to avoid the eyes of the dancers in the ballroom now just a pane of leaded glass away. Their own laughter became their music, picking up and gasping as they larked around, pulling faces and imitating the nobles inside who were just a glance away from noticing them. 

Just in his socks, his queue loose and golden hair flying up around his face, Taako felt the bad mood that had sat on his chest for gods only knew how long finally lift. 

They went all around the mansion, finally tumbling back into the library, red cheeked and shivering and jaws aching from giddy laughter. 

Taako crashed back into his chair, tripping over his own shoes, cackling delightedly, not caring if his laugh sounded common or the gap in his front teeth showed. Kravitz came to a rather more dignified stop, sinking into the opposite chair and folding one leg lazily over the other. 

“You know,” he chuckled, eyes bright, “I thought coming back to the country meant all excitement in my life was over… but I don’t think they have anyone like you anywhere else in the world.” 

Taako gave a lopsided grin, “They do. My sister.” 

Kraviz shook his head slowly, leaning close again. The fire was dying, with the doors flung wide and the wind gushing in, it was embers flickering in his eyes now. 

“I think you’re entirely unique, Taako.” 

The elf paused, caught in those eyes for a moment, still tasting night air on his tongue and laughter aching in his chest. He wondered if anyone had ever looked at him like that before, like they were really seeing him and only him. 

There was fear in his heart at the thought. But not just fear.

He eased himself up slowly, “I should be heading home, the party looked like it was dying down. Lup will be looking for me.”

Kravitz nodded, sitting back so his eyes went dark again. They were such unusual eyes, a brown that caught the light in such a way they could almost be called red. 

“I’m in the country for good now, ready to take the estate over from Mistress,” he said hopefully, “Perhaps you could come visit? The library’s always open to you.” 

Taako smiled, “I would like that. You can teach me to play chess and I’ll teach you to dance.” 

Kravitz gave a bright bark of laughter, “It’s a deal.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako can't get that night out of his mind. Though he has a lot of other things to think about...

“And where do you think you’re going at this time of the day, young lady?”

It was their little joke, between the two of them, one that wouldn’t get old. Taako knew fine well where his sister was going when he caught her at the door, in her nicest day dress with her hair done up in elaborate braids protected from the wind by a silken scarf that had been a gift from their aunt, with a basket hanging from one arm that was emanating a distinct, sweet sugar smell. 

“None of your business,” she told him primly but with a wicked grin, one that lifted her freckled cheeks. 

Taako leaned in the doorway, eyeing his sister with his best impression of a stern older brother, “Definitely not going to meet that scoundrel of a blacksmith in town?”

“I’m sure I don’t know who you’re talking about,” Lup checked her hair in the silvered hall mirror, “The only scoundrel I know is you.” 

Taako had to laugh at that, rolling his eyes, “Well, give Barold my best. Tell him I hope he enjoys the cookies I spent all of yesterday making…” 

His sister turned a pleading look on him, delicately moving the basket behind her back, “There were only ten left anyway! And he does really like them.”

He waved her off with a dismissive hand, “It’s fine, it’s fine. I’ll just make more. Or starve, whichever. Have fun.” 

Taako expected to hear the door open and shut in quick succession, Lup as eager as ever to go do whatever she did with her gentleman caller that he definitely didn’t want to think about. But instead she lingered, eyes now on him rather than her reflection though there were enough similarities between the two.

“Taako…”

He stifled a sigh. He knew this as well, as familiar as their joke, though this was starting to grate on him more. Lup gazing at him whenever she would leave to meet Barry, guilt and a little bit of pity in her eyes. Like she was tensing the bond between them, putting strain on it and felt like she should apologise. 

Taako couldn’t stand that. He couldn’t bear the fact that his sister felt she had to apologise for being happy. 

It was true that for years they’d had nothing but each other, knowing each other inside and out, forming shelters for each other when nothing else made sense. But the older they both got, the more he realised Lup needed more than him. She needed someone dependable and brave, who went around fixing problems. Someone she could build something with, rather than hide in. 

Lup needed Barry in a way she’d never need Taako again. 

He knew that. He just didn’t like being reminded of it. 

He loped forward, meeting her in the square of morning sunlight coming in through the leaded glass, reaching forward and tucking a loose strand of golden hair back into the safety of the silk. 

“You never do braids as neatly as me,” he smirked, patting her cheek before stepping back, “Go have fun, Lup. Don’t you dare come back before midnight.” 

Lup looked as if there was more she wanted to say but eventually sighed, a small smile that was sad and grateful all at once, carrying the weight of everything they hadn’t said, “I love you, Koko. I’ll see you later.”

“Same to you, Lulu,” Taako fixed a smile on his face that carried nothing but what it was, quite deliberately, “Love ya.” 

The house did feel so much emptier when she was gone. 

Taako sighed softly, suddenly not wanting to go back to his book. He had the restless, fidgety energy that he sometimes got, the prickling under his skin and the swimming in his vision. He either needed to fire off some spells as quickly as possible or he needed to cook something. 

Seeing as Lup had just made off with the last of the cookies he made the other day, he chose the second. 

Taako was well aware that young men of his station were supposed to never set foot in the kitchen. But he was already clinging to said station by the very edges of his fingertips and cooking funneled his restlessness into something tasty and useful so he saw little harm in indulging himself within his own home. 

He’d always loved it, in fact, and illuminating the manor’s kitchen with a wave of his hand brought a rush of fondness and, just for a moment, made him five years old again. Tiny and slight with ears so big he couldn’t hold them up and a broken heart in his little chest, still expecting his mother or father to walk through the door at any moment. Sitting at Auntie’s feet because he didn’t know how to be alone but for the first time Lup didn’t want him near. Finally getting himself absorbed in what she was doing, how she turned separate ingredients into something else, something new. If he followed her hands, became fascinated by the hidden, subtle magic of it all, then he didn’t have to think about why his sister cried all the time, why she seemed to have given up on mama and papa ever coming back, why they lived here now instead of their old house. 

Even years later, when he and Lup found each other again, when they learned how to function with the raw, broken edges of their family, Taako still cooked. He bought books, telling anyone who gave him strange looks that it was for his Auntie, when really he would stay up all night making notes in the margins for possible amendments and sketching out presentation ideas. It was like his magic in a lot of ways. Taking separate things and making something new, something that hadn’t existed before and now did because of his efforts. 

That was all Taako wanted. Making cakes out of flour and eggs and sugar. Making illusions out of simple electrical charges in the air, the patterns and eddies he could feel with his fingertips. 

Making a future for his sister out of the mess he’d been up until now. 

Taako gave a soft sigh and tied back his hair into a messy bun, a bastardised version of the neat queue it was normally in. He tugged on his apron, so faded it was hard to see it had ever been blue and white striped. Already his blue mood was fading, shaking off his hands like irritating droplets of water as he gathered bowls and ingredients from the pantry. 

Lup had taken the last of the cookies but he found himself gathering sugar, the scalloped tins from the very back of the cupboard and some of the wildflower honey from Merle’s bees. Madelines it was then. Sometimes his hands made decisions before his brain did. 

His ears twitched when the early afternoon sun fell on them, as if feeling the warm weight of it. The window, slightly ajar, let in nothing but a fresh breeze and birdsong. He settled into familiar actions and rhythms, certain in his actions, doing everything by eye with a sense of pride. And slowly, surely, like the honey running from the spoon, Taako felt himself again. 

He whistled as he worked, summoning lemons right into his hand, tossing it from one palm to the other playfully. It wasn’t until the bowl was filled with perfect butter yellow curls of zest that Taako realised he was humming the song from the dance. The song that had carried him and Kravitz in a mad dance around the entirety of Countess Raven’s manor in a fit of burned frustration, wine and mania. 

The thought brought a rush of heat to Taako’s freckled cheeks and the now waxy white lemon slipped through his fingers and bounced to the tiled floor. He retrieved it as quick as he could; with their funds the way they were, he couldn’t afford to be wasting ingredients. He’d lost the song but it still played in his head, as muffled as it had been that night, a counterpoint to the winter wind and the night owls that gathered in the woods. 

“Come on,” he muttered to himself in irritation, continuing the stirring with magic alone just to have something to focus on. Something that wasn’t Kravitz or the way he’d smelled of polished oak or how cool his hands had been in the few times they’d ghosted over his own as they’d danced. 

That wasn’t going to get him anywhere. It had been a nice wild moment, a release of the anxiety and frustration of a boring party, but he couldn’t see it existing outside of that night, like a flower that could only grow in a certain place with just the right soil. He wasn’t expecting to see Kravitz again. Now that the cold light of day had reminded them both who they were and what they were and just what was appropriate for them to be doing. 

Taako began to spoon mixture into the scalloped impressions, lined up neatly like the world’s most orderly beach. Soon each one had a thick golden puddle in the centre, speckled with bright yellow. He took a moment to feel proud of himself and admire just how neat they all looked before banging them in the ancient, cast iron oven. He and Lup would scarf them down within two hours for sure. If any survived, he’d take them to Merle and Magnus in town. 

He didn’t take off his apron or loosen his hair, not quite sure if he was finished yet. He simply magicked up a cup of tea and sat on one counter to rest his ankles, enjoying the kitchen filling with the smell of lemons and honey. 

And suddenly it turned bitter in his mouth as a thought struck him, like his brain had just decided he was far too content and needed to be knocked back. 

_ This could be the last time you get to do this. _

Taako’s hands tightened around the mug, magic suddenly pulsing through his fingertips and leaving a hairline crack down the side. When he finally found a wealthy heiress willing to marry him-  _ if,  _ the sly voice corrected- it would hardly be proper for him to haunt the kitchen any more. He’d be expected to do whatever gentlemen did with their free time, probably hunt or drink brandy or scoff at poor people. A lifetime of pretending, of wearing a mask and hoping it eventually just fused to his face so he could forget there’d ever been anything underneath. 

And that was if things went well. If they didn’t, in two months they wouldn’t have a home, let alone a kitchen. Destitution or a complete loss of the very few things he liked about himself. Those were his choices. 

Auntie had sickened and gone so quickly there had been no time to formalise anything, to fill in the gaps that hadn’t been filled. Neither he nor Lup were officially recorded anywhere as her heirs, given that they weren’t her children, that she’d taken them in out of the goodness of her heart after not speaking to her twin since they were the age of the two children she’d suddenly acquired. 

Taako tried to remember how he’d felt this time last year. Young, free, invincible. Able to outrun or outsmart anything that would dare try and trip him up. Unaware that life was just around the corner and it would always be faster, smarter and crueller than him. 

_ If you weren’t the way you are, it wouldn’t have happened. Of course Auntie didn’t put anything in writing, she didn’t want a fuck up like you as her heir. If you were better, if you were even halfway decent, Lup would be safe.  _

Taako slammed the mug down on the counter, completing the destruction his magic had already done, though he didn’t stop and look back to see. Almost frantically he threw himself at the cupboards, pulling out whatever ingredients weren’t already assembled, anything he could get his hands on. He found more bowls, more spoons, his magic reaching out and grabbing whatever his hands couldn’t. And then he was moving, following a set of instructions that came from nowhere, latching onto them desperately so he wasn’t at the mercy of the rest of his mind. He didn’t care what he was making, as long as he could add something to the world in a manic attempt to prove his own worth in some small way. 

And then there was a knock at the door. 

Taako cursed under his breath, trying to steady his hands and dissipate his magic and his anxiety just as he’d done before, though this time it was like oil, just clinging tighter for all his efforts. As he went down the hall he did quick mental maths, trying to juggle in his head while moving his feet. If it was the milkman,they should have just enough spare silver rattling around to pay him, if it was the butcher he would take an IOU if Taako batted his eyelashes enough…

If it was a bailiff… 

Taako shook that thought out of his mind and opened the door before he could lose his nerve

“Oh hello! I was hoping you’d be in,” Kravitz stood on the doorway, framed in winter sunlight, as effortlessly neat as he had been that night. 

“I...yes, I’m in,” Taako said, apparently thinking that the only thing to do when stood in a doorway with the most idiotic gaping expression was to say something equally stupid. 

There was a pause while Kravitz shifted his weight and cleared his throat, though he took the fact that Taako’s brain had apparently fallen out of the back of his head with good grace. 

“I...I’m sorry if it’s a bad time or I’m interrupting,” he said with an adorably coy smile, “I was just going insane stuck inside of the mistress' mansion all by myself and had to get some air and, well...I don’t know anyone else around here?”

Taako relaxed a little. Maybe the honesty and openness from the party had survived, if only for a while, like a good kind of hangover. 

“Well, you know me,” he flashed a smile, “And that’s really all the interesting people who live around here anyway.” 

Kravitz laughed, a pleasant, deep, laugh with just a little rumble around the edges, “May I come in?”

Taako stepped to one side and gestured down the hall, though now thinking of the many jobs that needed doing since they’d had to let the staff go, the dust gathering in the corners and the grime on some of the windows where neither he nor Lup had got around to cleaning them. 

But Kravitz’s eyes passed over all of that as if it wasn’t there, hanging up his coat on the stand. He was wearing a similar colour scheme to what he’d worn at the party, all black, but this time a loose everyday shirt and waistcoat, dark trousers with a high waist. Taako wondered if the Countess made black mandatory or whether her ward was consciously trying to fit in. Or maybe he just liked black too. 

“Are you working on something?” Kravitz asked delicately, apparently paying as much attention to Taako’s dress as he was to Kravitz’s.

Taako looked down at himself, only just managing to bite back a curse. He’d left his apron on without thinking, still dusted with flour and a few golden honey stains. 

“Oh, um…” his mind raced for an excuse as to why he’d be dressed this way, each wilder than the last. Rehearsing a play? This was the new men’s fashion for elvenkind? The flour was actually ground bone or some equally grisly spell component?

Kravitz seemed to sniff the air a little, the scent of lemon and sugar and lavender escaping from the kitchen, “Are you baking?”

Taako swallowed, hoping he wasn’t blushing but the burning in his cheeks said otherwise, “Yeah, just...just a little…” He searched Kravitz’s expression for any disdain, confused when all he saw was a polite interest. Maybe even fascination. 

“It smells divine! I’d never have thought you would be interested in something like baking but you’re clearly something of a genius.” 

Now Taako was blushing for an entirely different reason, “Well...it’s kind of you to say so. I’m interested in all kinds of cooking really, not just baking. I always have, since I was small.”

Kravitz just looked outright impressed and not even in a feigned way. Taako actually didn’t think his face could hold an insincere expression. 

“That’s amazing. If I were left to my own devices with no servants or cooks or anything, I’d starve before the day was through.” 

Taako’s lips quirked upwards, “Well, if that ever happens, just come knock on my door. I’ll keep you going.” 

Kravitz’s eyes brightened, “That’s a comforting thought.”

Taako gave a slight chuckle, tucking loose hair back behind his ears, “Why don’t you come through? I can make coffee and the madelines should be ready soon.”

And that was how Taako ended up with the heir of one of the richest and most mysterious families for miles around leaning against his kitchen counter, drinking coffee and pouting adorably when he was informed that the madelines needed to cool before they could be eaten. 

“Believe me, it’s worth it,” Taako grinned, after discreetly vanishing the shards of broken mug from his outburst, “When the sugar cools and hardens around the edge and you get that snap when you bite into it...that’s magic right there.” 

Kravitz seemed to accept that, eyes wandering, “And what were you making over there?” He indicated the half finished mess of Taako’s frantic baking frenzy just before the bell had rung.

Looking at it now, Taako had to suck a breath in through his teeth and admit, “I...have no idea. I was kind of...improvising?”

“Oh,” he nodded, looking like he might have sensed the hesitation under the elf’s words and was deciding to ignore it, “So...if I was going to learn to bake, just in case I’m shipwrecked on a deserted island or something of that nature and I can’t get in contact with you...what would I start with?”

Taako smirked, “Does this deserted island have a fully functioning kitchen?” 

“Let’s say it does.” 

Taako puzzled it over for a moment, wandering over to the shelf where all his recipe books were haphazardly piled, no attempt made to keep them neat with how frequently he pulled them down and juggled them around. Most were dog eared, either from use, being second hand or a combination of both. Some, Auntie used to say, were from generations back, hand written in crumbling scrawls. 

“Do you like sweet or savoury things?” he hummed, fingers walking over some of the spines. 

“Sweet,” came the almost shy reply. Taako hid a smile, it was a little unusual that someone who dressed entirely in black and lived in a mansion decorated with black feathers and even some skulls would have a sweet tooth.

“Well then, let’s try cookies. We can throw some nuts in, islands have nut trees, right? Do nuts grow on trees?”

“Some do,” Kravitz sounded like he was reciting from a textbook, like he was a schoolboy facing a tutor and eager for a gold star, “Tree nuts like hazelnuts and pistachios and pecans. All others aren’t actually nuts, they’re legumes or seeds.” 

Taako lifted an eyebrow. Someone clearly didn’t go outside enough as a child. He hopped up onto his knees on the counter so he could reach far enough back and snag the ingredients. 

“Right, well, tree nuts it is. And plenty of brown sugar, the good sticky stuff that goes like molasses when you bake it…”

“You’re so knowledgeable about this,” Kravitz’s voice suddenly sounded so much closer than it had before. When Taako turned, he saw that he’d moved right up beside him and was offering out a hand to help him down.

Stunned, Taako found himself blurting, “I could float down. If I wanted to.” 

He immediately felt a pang of regret as a look of hurt flashed across Kravitz’s face for just a moment before smoothing out into his usual polite smile. The hand snapped back to his side, “Of course. I should have known better, I’m a magic user myself.”

Taako’s guilt crystallised into sharp edges in his chest as he recognised an obvious attempt to change the subject. But still he nodded, playing along, as if the jar in their conversation had never happened, “I can sense it. What school of magic do you study?”

Kravitz stepped back to let Taako hop down, “Ah, I haven’t studied a lot, if I’m honest. I’ve never had a magical tutor of any kind, just my...just my mistress.” 

That did give Taako pause, though he covered it with busying himself at the mixing bowl. Innate magic was a rare thing, not taken from any book or school but from the user’s own blood. It had a reputation for being incredibly powerful but, as a side effect, very unstable. Unstable wasn’t exactly the word Taako would use to describe his new neighbour but he had to wonder what had come first and what had followed, out of his wardship to the countess and this newly mentioned magic. 

“Lucky,” he finally said, playing it off lightly as always, “All my lessons were painfully boring.” 

Kravitz gave a soft, easy laugh, though he’d clearly been watching very carefully for Taako’s reaction. 

Usually Lup was the only person ever allowed in the kitchen while Taako worked and even then she risked a slap with a wooden spoon if she got in the way. But seeing as this was a lesson of sorts, Taako swallowed his usual protective bossiness and gave Kravitz odd tasks to do, carefully talking him through the steps for each one. 

And each and every time, he regretted it. 

“I think you were a little hasty when you said you’d starve in a day,” Taako eventually snorted in exasperation, “I don’t think you’d make it until the early afternoon.”

Kravitz, now wearing a grey suit rather than the black one he’d entered with after the sack of flour he’d dropped had ignored his aesthetic, gave him a wounded look, “I could eat stale biscuits from the pantry…”

“The second you’d touch them, dear, they’d probably spontaneously combust.” 

Kravitz’s hurt pantomime cracked and he gave a bark of laughter, “Fine, I’m hopeless. But I tried and, therefore, I should still get some of the spoils.” 

Taako smiled at the neat tray of seven perfectly round balls and four misshapen blobs of cookie dough. Even with operating around a one man disaster zone, they hadn’t done a bad job. Sure there was flour piling up in drifts on the floor and it had taken them two sets of mixture after Kravitz had poured buttermilk into one rather than actual milk but he had a good feeling about them. 

“Sure, I’ll take pity on you.” 

In the fifteen minutes they took to bake, they magically cleaned the kitchen and sat talking, drinking the last of the now lukewarm coffee and eating madeleines. Despite some careful questioning, Taako learned very little about Kravitz in that time. Just that he’d been working for the family business in the city and had a passion for music almost as precious to him as Taako’s love of cooking. Still, the conversation was as light and comforting as any he’d had with his sister or friends, in a way Taako just hadn’t thought was possible. 

Almost as if the gods had known he’d needed a friend right now and had dropped one on his doorstep. 

It was evening by the time Taako had Kravitz back on the doorstep with a basket full of still warm, still delicious smelling nut cookies and madeleines. He was still apologising about having to leave, saying his mistress would be expecting him back before eight. 

Taako shook his head, “I told you, it’s fine. I’ll come see you next time, you can show me some of your pieces.”

Kravitz’s cheeks seemed to colour a bit, “Really? You’d be interested in that?”

“I made you cookies,” Taako leaned in the doorway and smiled crookedly, “I’m going to need something in exchange.” 

They both laughed companionably at that, though there was something more serious in Kravitz’s expression afterwards. 

“I had a really good time today, Taako. I’m glad I came over.”

Taako shifted, not liking the way that comment made butterflies wake up in his stomach, as nice as the words were, “Sure thing. It’s nice to have friends, right?” 

Something changed in his expression then, something Taako couldn’t place in the second it was there before disappearing. A hesitation of some kind.

“Yes. It is nice to...to have friends.” 

After exchanging goodnights, Taako watched Kravitz walk off into the gathering dusk, quickly becoming invisible as the sun disappeared behind the hills. He found himself nursing a small smile.

Even if it had been the last time he ever got to be himself, it had been a pretty good last time. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Sorry this hasn't updated in forever!)
> 
> Taako and Kravitz become closer and closer friends, coming to rely on each other, feeling things they've never felt before. 
> 
> This changes things.

“You know he actually invited you, right?”

Taako looked up from fussing with his lapels. Caught between dressing overly formally and overly casually, he’d ended up with an outfit that was a bastardisation of both, trousers with a hole in the knee on the bottom and a poet’s shirt with an absurd amount of ruffles on top. He was trying not to think about how ridiculous he looked, trying to convince himself that if he could get the lapels of his jacket to lie flat, that would fix it. 

“What?” his amber eyes were sharp as they faced his sister, sat on the stairs and watching him pace by the door. Too sharp but she’d hit right at the heart of him and it stung. Easier to pretend he didn’t know that and act affronted. 

“Kravitz invited you over to the manor,” Lup said patiently, like she was explaining one of the spells she’d mastered and he hadn’t gotten yet, “You don’t have to be so nervous about it. He wants you there.” 

“Who says I’m nervous?” Taako sniffed though he knew fne well it was his shaking hands and his restless feet and the twenty minutes he’d spent pacing in front of the door that all said it, loud and clear. 

Lup only sat forward, her chin resting on her knuckles and her elbows resting on her knees. Her smile was lopsided, the one they shared. 

“What is it you’re going over to do?”

“He...he said we’d have tea,” Taako mumbled, back to fussing with his jacket, “He’d teach me chess. And...and he mentioned something about composing his own music when he was hear the other day. He said he’d play me some.”

Lup’s face lit up with a knowing delight Taako didn’t like at all. He was starting to regret telling her about how the Countess’ ward had come to visit him, how they’d baked together. He’d known she’d read things on it that weren’t really there. 

_ You want her to,  _ a sly, truthful part of his mind he’d never gotten along with chimed in,  _ you want to know she sees it too, so you can tell yourself you’re not going crazy.  _

“Don’t,” Taako said, to Lup and to the voice, turning away to the leaded glass in the door, the blocky, poor painting it made of the country beyond it. 

“I didn’t say anything, Koko,” Lup hummed, the smile still in her voice, “I just think it’s nice how you’ve made friends with this guy. You haven’t really clicked with anyone since you first met Merle and Magnus. Poor Barry thought you hated him for a full year.”

Taako grunted, “I never hated him…” If the blacksmith courting his sister had read any animosity in his face whenever he’d return her hime far past dark or would kiss her hand when he thought no one was looking, that was his prerogative. 

But, he had to admit, he’d softened on the guy lately. It was hard to stay so cold with someone who made your other half smile in a way you’d thought you’d never see again. 

“I know that,” Lup said, “It’s just good to see you letting someone else in. And Kravitz seems really nice. Not like you at all but...nice.”

Taako bristled a little, like a cat being petted against the grain of his fur, “Since when is he Kravitz to you?” 

“Since we spoke,” Lup shrugged airily, “Just yesterday actually.”

“ _ What?”  _ he whirled, sending his enormous hat slipping over one eye and leaving him to find some dignified way to fix it. 

Lup ignored his tone, examining a small hole in her skirt, “I was going to take Barry some lunch at the shop and he was coming back from the post office. I was worried he’d thought I was you but he knew immediately. Thought that was strange, no one’s been able to do that on sight since Auntie. He was jumping at every cart and carriage going past like an owl in daylight, bless his heart, but he stopped and talked to me for a while. Managed to mention you a few more times than was strictly necessary.” 

The corner of her mouth quirked up at that, like a rising inflection, turning it into a trailing thread. Taako scrunched up his nose in response. 

“I mean...yeah, he’s nice. He just seems lonely and he was nice enough to visit so I’m returning the favour. Probably be so bored stiff I won’t ever go back but I have to take him up on the invitation at least once. It’s courtesy. That’s all.”

“No one ever said it wasn’t,” Lup replied with maddening patience. Have fun. When you eventually get past the threshold. Which looks like it will be sometime around...never?”

Taako made a strangled noise of exasperation and indignance, sticking his nose in the air and whirling out of the door, just to show that he could. It was only when he was halfway down the path, their Auntie’s lavender plants grown so tall they were tickling his fingertips, that he realised what his sister had done to goad him out of his spiral. 

Lup only grinned at him and fluttered her fingers when he made a very rude gesture at her through the window before stomping off in the direction of the big manor. Her smile didn’t fade when the tip of his ridiculous hat had disappeared below the rise of the valley. It just shifted, changed slightly, softened into something that was no less of a smile but felt deeper and sadder. 

She remembered how it had felt for her, right at the start. The defensiveness and the doubting and the uncertainty. Dodging and diverting when thoughts strayed too close to where you didn’t want them to go. And then, finally, when you were cornered and had nowhere to go, the crushing realisation that you were falling for someone you weren’t supposed to.

She could only hope it wouldn’t hurt her brother too badly. 

It had been so long since Taako had lived somewhere with servants that he jumped a little when someone who wasn’t Kravitz answered the door to the manor. Already on the back foot, he stammered out that he’d been invited, sounding more unconvincing with every word. There was a chilly silence, while the elven butler looked him up and down, taking in his mismatched outfit and the blush rising on his skin, before eventually admitting in a slow, sonorous voice that Master Raven was expecting him. Everything about his expression told Taako loudly and clearly that, if this weren’t the case, he would have been gladly tossed off the premises as soon as he stepped on their porch. 

He was shown to the same library from the night of the party, tucked cunningly away so it could never be found unless the flat oaken door was pointed out to you. Or unless you staggered in on pure, desperate happenstance. 

“Taako!” Kravitz got to his feet as soon as he walked in, his face lit up so brightly it was hard for the elf to tell himself he wasn’t genuinely delighted to see him. 

“Hey there,” he grinned back, it was hard not to, and grasped his forearm in greeting, “Sorry, I know we said midday, I got caught up with, ah…”

“Oh it’s absolutely fine,” Kravitz tilted his head, saving Taako from having to come up with something that delayed him that wasn’t his own anxiety, “You’re here now and I don’t have to crawl the walls with boredom any more. At least, not by myself.”

As before, his easy humour and earnestness had Taako relaxing despite himself. Enough that, after tea had been sent for and Kravitz had turned the blinds to gentle the afternoon sun into a pleasing ambery gold glow in the library, he was actually glad he’d come. 

“You spend a lot of time here, huh?” Taako sank into the same chair he’d occupied at the party, “That’s the second time you’ve talked about being bored.” 

Kravitz shrugged, sitting back down, lounging in a very unlordly way. It gave Taako the confidence to tuck his own legs underneath him and sprawl in the way he liked to do, very different from the stiff backed position he had to hold himself in around the other gentry. 

“I sound like I’m complaining, don’t I?” he sighed, “I don’t mean to, it’s only that Mistress never leaves the manor and I’d walked the length of the village in less than a morning. The fault is mine, most likely, I’m struggling to adjust to a...well, a quieter pace of life than the cities.” 

Taako blinked curiously, plucking a horse from the chess set between them and fidgeting with it, “So...you’ve been to Goldcliff? And Rockport? All those places?”

Kravitz nodded, “All of them. It’s wonderful being in amongst so many people, this messy tangle of so many different lives. You could meet a hundred different stories just by walking through the squares. And they’re unique too, each one has its own rhythm. When you’re there, you know there’s nowhere else like it in the world. Nowhere has ale like you find in Rockport, only in Goldcliff can you find that kind of architecture, it’s amazing. But it isn’t just the cities! There’s wonders all between them, like the elven forests and the red canyons and the deserts and thousands of little villages and towns between, unlike anywhere else. And even though you’re sad to leave each one, you get the excitement of knowing you’ll experience it all again, finding somewhere new. And…” his ears darkened and his smile slipped, “And I’ve been talking for too long, haven’t I?”

Taako blinked, shaking himself out of the visions Kravitz’s words had been painting around him, “No, no, it’s fine. I...I was enjoying listening to you. I’ve never been anywhere like that myself, after all. I’ve never been beyond the valley.” It made him feel foolish to say so, in front of someone so travelled. 

Kravitz smiled softly, “You’d love it Taako. And they’d love you.”

That was so absurd, he snorted aloud, before blushing and covering his mouth behind a hand, as if that would erase the embarrassment. 

But Kravitz didn’t seem concerned by the social faux pas, though something was creasing his brow and deepening his dark eyes, “You don’t believe me.”

Taako’s ears came down to bracket his face, “It’s just...people can maybe take a few hours with me at the most and then the shine kind of comes off the old penny. You know, words like ‘acerbic’ and ‘vexing’ start coming out, the polite, high society ways of saying I’m annoying. And then I normally do something ridiculous to make them out and out hate me before everything can just fall apart in that slow, agonising kind of way. Don’t want to even think about how I’d embarrass myself in somewhere like Goldcliff.” 

Kravitz was still and silent, long enough that Taako was worried he’d just gone and done that ‘something ridiculous’ without even realising it. They both jumped out of their skins when the knock at the door sounded, the servant with their tea. As it was all laid out before them, piece by black enamelled piece, agonisingly slow, Taako sank further and further into the chair, feeling his skin take flame and wondering if he could bolt out of the door left open by the butler. But the whole time, those dark eyes were fixed on him, curious and impossible to read beyond that.

When the door closed again after Kravitz’s quiet thank you, he spoke in his same soft tones and Taako realised he’d only been choosing his words with a careful exactness.

“But what about me, Taako? I enjoy your company more and more each time I see you. And I can’t imagine my opinion ever changing, when I know you better.”

Taako felt for a moment as if he couldn’t breathe. His hands fluttered anxiously, reaching for a teacup then thinking better of it, going to the sugar, the milk, even with nothing to put them in. After a moment, they found Kravitz’s own, bumping into each other like it was a simple coincidence. But then Kravitz squeezed his gently, allowing them to shake in his sure grip. It could be a gesture of comfort from one friend to another. 

Or it could not. 

_ What about you indeed?  _

Taako swallowed, risking a glance up at Kravitz who still had that gentle smile on his face, like all he wanted to do was help. Like he meant it all with a pure earnestness Taako had never encountered with anyone else. It was what relaxed him when he’d first stepped into the library, this time and the last, but now he felt like what was going to break him apart.

He could have said so many things when his mouth fell open but good sense finally prevailed and in a slightly hysteric voice he barked out, “So chess, huh?”

Kravitz blinked, looking dismayed for a fraction of a second when the elf snatched his hands back. 

“Gonna teach me how to play?” he grinned, practised at throwing up smiles to mask panic and distress, “You promised.”

“I...I did, didn’t I?” Kravitz followed his lead, though his smile wasn’t as practised, some of the confusion and maybe even a little bit of hurt showing around the edges, “Though you must promise not to get better than me, let me keep my dignity for a few days at least?” 

Taako tilted his head, smirking, “Well, we’ll just have to see. I’m making no promises…”

He didn’t have to, not at the start. For a few games, he was beaten fairly resoundingly while the rules sank in. Taako was grateful for it, as much as he didn’t like losing. The strategy and remembering all the rules through a sugary fog of strong tea helped keep his mind off how soft Kravitz’s skin had felt against his own, how cool and pleasant it had been, how just an inch would have slid their fingers through each other in such a perfectly fitting pattern than nothing could have made them let go, not if they didn’t want to. 

But thoughts like that were unacceptable. So he thought of knights and rooks and little black and white squares and how to mage hand Kravitz’s pieces off the board and to his side so he might believe he’d taken more than he had. The last never worked, Kravitz would only laugh and steal his pieces back with quick and clever hands when Taako was distracted. 

And before too long, only one and a half games in, it was as if it had never happened. Almost. A traitorous part of Taako’s mind was still thinking how the cool ebony of his pieces didn’t feel all that different from Kravitz’s hand. But almost was good enough. 

Eventually, when the tea was just black speckled dregs in the bottom of their cups, Taako got to his feet. 

“I should head back,” he noted the colour of the sky, far darker than he’d meant to let it get, “My sister will be wondering where I am. She’s a terrible grump when she gets hungry.”

“Of course,” Kravitz nodded politely, rising to show him to the door like a good gentleman, “Will I...I mean, you know you’re welcome any time?”

There was a nervousness in his voice that he wasn’t even trying to hide, a careful hopefulness like he was telling himself not to get too excited. And Taako knew he was thinking about that moment where their hands had touched and he’d spoken so tenderly, worrying and wondering if it had been too much. Wondering if he’d ruined something good. 

Taako knew that feeling. He straightened the front of his jacket and smiled, fully, so the gap in his teeth would show. 

“Of course I’ve got to come back. I almost had you at the end there, I’m not giving up until I have victory.”

The relief that flooded over Kravitz’s face was so genuine and real it was hard for Taako to look for a moment, “Then I shall have to practise…”

Taako very deliberately didn’t think about what that meant as they made their polite, formal goodbyes and he was turned back out into the air, grown cold and thick now evening had fallen and stolen the thin warmth of the winter sun. The walk back to their house felt longer now than it had in the opposite direction. 

And as he walked Taako thought of what he would make for their supper with what little was left in the pantry, he thought of checks and pawns and how white always moved first, he thought of stalemates. 

But that annoying little part still whispered  _ what about him?  _

Taako did go back, every day for the next week and every time it got easier. Worryingly, maddeningly easier. 

The next time, Kravitz presented him with a small, elegantly decorated package with the stamp of a Goldcliff bakery on the top. Inside were perfectly baked, exquisitely formed macarons, shining with sugar and even coloured coal black. Taako laughed aloud at that and quickly comforted Kravitz when his expression turned stricken, he’d only been appreciating his commitment to a theme. 

Taako had read about the high class bakeries and lauded restaurants you could find across the continent, mostly from his cookery books. But he’d never thought to actually taste anything from one of them before, their wares were expensive. Taako didn’t even want to think about what it would have cost to have even these few cookies sent to their little valley. There was a lot of it he didn’t want to think about. 

He didn’t want to bite into it and break the magic of that perfect almond scented shell but he was so glad when he eventually did, blackberries thick and rich on his tongue. High on joy and sugar, he’d gone on for nearly an hour about flavour balance and texture and how recipes travelled from place to place and shifted from being only for the rich to being everyday staples. A hundred times he told himself to shut up, that he’d gone on for far too long and Kravitz was bored stiff. But somehow he didn’t think so, seeing how he still leaned forward with his eyes wide and open, his mouth turned up in an admiring smile. 

And when he brought one of the macarons home for Lup, she’d given him a smirk that had made him blush and make an excuse to leave the room. 

The next time Taako turned up at the door holding a folder that looked like moths had been at it for decades. It wouldn’t be far wrong, give or take a few years. As soon as Kravitz saw it, the apologies came tumbling from Taako’s lips, it was stupid, it was just some old trash, he’d happily throw it in the fire right now if he wanted. But slowly, surely, Kravitz got out of him that it was a collection of sheet music he’d found in the attic, it had belonged to his Auntie. She’d loved to play piano, he said, eyes firmly fixed on his feet, drenched in snowmelt. And now she was gone, Taako had just thought he might like them. Most of the songs were in Elvish, it was old and probably boring and, gods, he’d never even asked what instrument you play…

He’d been well and truly worked up when Kravitz had gasped, the folder open in his lap. His eyes had been wide as a child presented with a jar full of sweets, his jaw dropped, fingers gentle as he stroked the yellowed pages with their carefully printed notes. He’d thanked Taako so sincerely and softly, like those brittle sheafs of songs waiting to be wrought in pulls and snaps of those clever fingers were a gift worth every bit as much as those macarons, maybe even more. 

And Taako had suddenly been so glad he’d spent the entire morning digging the music out and had turned up to tea late and with dust clumps in his braid, just for the look on his face. 

Kravitz had given him something of the world beyond their valley so Taako gave him something wholly from it, from a part that meant a lot to him. Kravitz’s gift said _ there is a place for you out there _ , Taako’s said  _ there is a place for you here _ . And both learned something more about themselves. 

The next day, Kravtiz brought it together so beautifully by finally playing for Taako. 

The answer to what instrument he played was apparently all of them, there was a room of the manor entirely given over to them all. A sleek black grand piano ruled as king but it had a flock of attendants, a flute, a violin, a chello, even instruments Taako couldn’t name. It was practically a museum to every form and shape of music all over the world, as much a testament to where Kravitz had travelled as his stories. 

Kravitz watched his face carefully, his grin spreading as he saw his awe. And then he’d guided Taako to sit on the piano bench, lovingly taken the violin down from it’s stand and stood before him, not like someone would if they were performing for an audience but something softer and more vulnerable, more intimate. That word, even spoken in Taako’s own mind, made him tense a little but there was just no other word for it. He was being let in to something that used to be a secret, doors opening to him that hadn’t opened before. Just like when Kravitz had stumbled into his kitchen and he’d allowed him to stay, this was Kravitz showing a part of himself that had grown so comfortable in hiding. 

This was what let Kravitz be himself in a world that told him he couldn’t. 

And he did it so well. Taako knew his Auntie had loved music, she’d played the guitar out on the porch on soft summer nights while Taako and Lup would chase each other through the meadows out the back of the house. Listening to Kravitz made him feel a way that was the same and different, all at once. The notes and instrument and hands were different but it was the same feeling of his chest opening wide enough to hold anything it wanted. The same feeling that this moment would go on forever and there would never need to be anything else. 

But Taako didn’t want this moment to go on forever. As he sat and listened to the high, swooping notes shivering on their strings and melting together into something beautiful as Kravitz flexed his fingers and drew his bow back and forth, he wanted it to grow. He wanted more. 

The song ended before Taako was ready and there were a few reasons his eyes were wet, some he’d be willing to say and some he’d rather die than speak out loud. Kravitz looked at him shyly, a man with his heart on display as recklessly as a child, and asked what he thought. Taako smiled, wiped his eyes on his sleeve and asked why Kravitz bothered studying magic when he could do something more magical than he’d ever seen in a book. He blushed the way he did everything, handsomely, and grinned in delight. They didn’t move from the music room for the rest of the day, Kravitz explaining how each instrument works and showing more of his compositions, excitedly taking Taako through nearly every note and why he’d placed it that way, showing him the thought and care in every song. Taako didn’t leave the manor until the sun had gone down, far later than was strictly socially acceptable for two young men to be alone together. 

Taako had fallen asleep that night with soft, beautiful music wandering around his mind rather than worries and uncertain deadlines and murky futures. 

Through it all, every day, there were chess games, around their moments of growing closeness. Taako got better quickly, picking up the rules and seeing strategies and plays he wouldn’t have noticed before. He learned Kravitz’s style, clever and strategic but predictable, and started to answer with his own, slightly manic, high risk high reward approach. With this he began to see ways to win, though few and far between, openings and paths and attacks he could nudge into motion and steal his first victory. 

But he never did. Not once. And every game would end with the same joke, that he’d just have to come back tomorrow, that he wouldn’t give up until he’d won a game. 

Their days together were full of ways out that neither of them took. 

Taako wondered how the old black manor house had ever made him nervous. When it decided to remind him, it came as a nasty shock. 

He no longer felt the need to be ferried from place to place by the sour elven butler, when he needed the bathroom, he just got up, announced the fact and flounced out of the door. Kravitz hadn’t minded, sat in the window seat to get the best of the pale afternoon sunlight and wiping rosin off his violin strings, only made him promise not to get in trouble on the way there and back. 

“Who do you think you’re talking to?” Taako snorted, golden hair bouncing as he shook his head. 

He managed to be half right, nothing happened on the way there, despite him happily wandering through a mansion that wasn’t his own in just his socks, his shirt opened two buttons from the top because he liked to sit close to the fire like a cat but despised sweating, humming one of Kravitz’s songs. It was on the way back that he ran into the trouble. 

One moment Taako was wandering the halls, eager to get back to Kravitz and hear him tune. He loved that part, even though it wasn’t music, he loved listening to Kravitz find the notes in the discord and steer it towards something perfect and clear and pure. He loved listening to the journey. 

One moment he was walking. And the next moment, there was a ghost at the end of the corridor he’d just walked into. He only just managed not to scream and was proud of himself for that but he did jump noticeably. 

“Master Taco,” the ghost took a slow step forward and became an almost impossibly tall woman in what seemed to be a flowing mourning dress and a gossamer thin veil covering her face. Except it wasn’t her face. It was a perfectly circular, bright white china mask, painted with a delicately beautiful but otherworldly face. There was no ornament to her except a silver bird skull worn around her cloth wrapped throat, “How wonderful to finally meet you.”

“Countess Raven…” Taako stammered. Now that a few seconds had passed, he was honestly less disturbed by her appearance than her seeing the hole in his sock that one toe was poking through. It was hard to find someone who dressed like this intimidating when you spent all of your free time with your new best friend who wore black silks and rings with silvered skulls set into them. 

“I have heard much about you from my ward,” Actually no, it was a little spooky to hear a voice and see no lips moving as she walked towards him, seeming to hover across the carpet because her skirt covered her shoes and there was barely a whisper in it, “I only regret how long it has taken us to meet in person. Please, join me in my parlour if you would.”

She moved to a door just between them, a gloved hand appearing from the folds of her dress to turn the handle. Taako shivered, what were the chances they just happened to meet right outside the room she wanted him to enter? Had she been watching him? All of a sudden the rumours that surrounded this sorceress and the possibility of eyes in the walls prickled the wrong way up his spine. 

But then he told himself he was being foolish. He reminded himself of what this woman was to Kravitz and everything she’d done for him. And he followed her through the door. 

It was a surprisingly cosy room, for it’s darkness. There was a fire, like there was in every one of these high ceilinged rooms, filling the space with it’s merrily crackling voice. There were books lining the walls in towering shelves, the spines showing a multitude of languages. There were candles, their scents of clove and citrus peel buoying the smell of burning wood into something very pleasant. All the furniture was in dark wood, expensive and ornate. And of course there was a chess set, old and dented, set on a side table. Taako imagined the countess teaching a younger Kravitz to play and smiled. 

“I promise I won’t keep you from my ward for very long,” her voice was smooth and not marred at all by age, “I simply felt it improper that we hadn’t been formally introduced yet, with you spending so much time with him.”

Taako flushed and didn’t take a seat when she did, standing and holding one arm like a schoolboy dragged before the headmaster. The word ‘improper’ was what stopped him in his tracks, pinned him awkwardly like a butterfly under glass, one of a host of words that pricked him in his nightmares. There was a lot about how he thought of Kravitz that fit the description, only in his own head of course though he was wondering just how much those hidden eyes could know. 

“I mean...he has become a good friend to me, my lady,” Taako cleared his throat, one hand going to his throat to hold his shirt together but there was nothing he could do about his lack of shoes, “I am simply...we share some interests and…”

“I think you have misunderstood me, Master Tacco,” she saved him from his miserably stumbling, politely interjecting, “I brought you here to thank you.”

Taako blinked, uncertain he’d heard her, “Thank me?”

She seemed to choose her words carefully, just as Kravitz always did. The longer he was in her presence, the more similarities Taako could see between them. 

“My ward is a very accomplished gentleman,” the countess said, the tone in her voice barely shifting, “Witty and talented and kind natured. Powerful too, gifted in his magic. And yet he struggles to connect with people, to make friends as it were. I fear this is something he inherited from myself, or else something I neglected to teach him. There is a natural loneliness to him that easily turns to sadness on his darker days.”

Taako could see that. It was the same sadness inside him, though Kravitz clearly preferred to turn inwards to it, whereas Taako grew louder and louder to drown it out. He suspected neither of them were very successful. 

“I will not tell you how he came to be my ward, that is his own tale to tell. I haven’t told you anything you didn’t already know, I think,” something behind the arctic cold mask sparkled that might have been her eyes, it was hard to say, “But I worry about him. I worry there are things I cannot save him from. Though, Master Tacco, you seem to have that power.”

Taako felt his face redden more, clearing his throat, “I...I wouldn’t call it a power, my lady, I just...I just care about him. There is no effort in it.”

“Even one such as me can see that. And this is why I wanted to thank you, Taako. I wanted to thank you for seeing him, as he is, and letting him in.” 

“Ah, well…” Taako felt like those painted eyes were staring into him, past his skin, seeing things that he hadn’t wanted anyone to see. And yet she didn’t seem angry or disgusted or even surprised. 

“And if I may be so bold, as I often am...I encourage you to let him do the same. I have seen the way he looks at you, I have heard how he speaks of you. Forgive an old lady dispensing wisdom where it hasn’t been asked for but I do wonder if you both couldn’t find a deal of happiness in each other. Or at least...a fulfilment. An understanding. Something to fill a need you share.” 

Taako didn’t know how much more he could take, his pulse racing and palms sweating. Was he reading too much into it? Making ridiculous leaps and bounds between her words? Gods, what did she want him to say?

“But I am rambling. I’ve kept you from him for too long, you may return to the library, Master Tacco. Thank you for indulging me and...think on what I’ve said or dismiss it as you see fit,” with a movement of her hand, the door swung open again. 

Most of Taako wanted to flee through it as soon as it revealed itself, some wanting to keep running right out the door and back to his safe, familiar house and his safe, familiar hiding places, to check the king and win the game. But there was still that one little bit...and wasn’t it always that which got him into trouble?

Instead of running, he bowed poliety and summoned up every scrap of bravery he had, which really wasn’t very much at all but proved just enough to say, “I will think about it, my lady. I promise.” And to mean it. 

The smooth, bone mask inclined in a satisfied nod, “Then return to your chess, Master Tacco. I hope you and Kravitz can find what you seek.”

With a nod, Taako ducked out of the Countess’ parlour and continued down the halls, taking a few wrong turns in his distraction and ending up somewhere he didn’t mean to be. It was only because the sound of his footfalls changed so much when he stumbled out onto the polished wood that he noticed he was standing in the ballroom from the night of the rout not that long ago. 

It was jarring to see it empty, at first, when last time it had been so full and rich with music, fine silk and candlelight. It was like a chest with no heart and lungs, bare and empty and devoid of its purpose. For a moment, Taako was frozen by the horror of being somewhere he wasn’t meant to be. 

But he was also alone, no one to scorn him or cast him out. So he gave himself a moment, stepping across the parquet flooring, looking up at the grand chandelier with it’s drips of wax frozen in time and the black, sleek arches of the ceiling. He’d run from it before so it was nice to be able to appreciate it, away from the eyes and cold, cruel, polite smiles that had driven him away. 

Some of the bravery still lingering, Taako made slow, spiraling circles and imagined a very different party in the same hall. He imagined Lup there, in her best dress but brand new and with no subtle mending, Barry on her arm, the two of them dancing happily. He imagined his friends, Magnus and Merle and Lucretia and Davenport, laughing and making their jokes, louder and far more fun than would ever normally be allowed somewhere like that. The Countess Raven perhaps, if she wanted, sitting in a chair and watching it all from behind her mask. 

And Kravitz. Kravitz smiling and holding himself proudly, his eyes bright as Taako took his arm and adoration clear on his handsome face. The two of them dancing, the way a man would with a woman, openly and freely with no need to hide, to music Kravitz had written, everyone able to see how beautiful it was. And how beautiful  _ they _ were. 

Taako stopped, suddenly finding his lower lip trembling and needing to focus so he could hold it at bay. The music faded in his ears and the faces of his friends dissipated, like snow on a breeze. He was alone again, in his socks and threadbare clothes playing at being luxury, with his two large ears and the gap in his front teeth. 

He could think about it all he wanted, that much he’d promised. But it wouldn’t change the fact that he could want and want until his heart broke and it would never mean he would have it. Wanting couldn’t change the world, not in his experience. Wouldn’t it have happened by now, if it could? He’d been wanting for a long damn time, after all. 

Taako gave a shuddery sigh and turned himself around, following the same route he’d taken that night to get back to the library, back to Kravitz and chess. 

Because that much he was allowed. 

A week. That was as long as they were allowed even that small happiness. 

Because the end of the seventh day was when Taako shut the front door of Auntie’s house against the winter wind and gathering night, whistling as he unwound his scarf and hung it with his coat on the peg. He smiled, content and happy and full of warm tea and sugar, stepping out of his shoes and thinking of supper and how he would read by the fire, Lup’s feet in his lap and her fingers weaving a braid into his hair. And how another day just like it would be waiting for him tomorrow. 

He knew something was wrong as he stepped into the kitchen. There was no fire in the hearth, it was cold and ashy. There was no light, no heat, no life in the house that hadn’t even lost its heart after Auntie died. Everything was quiet, the silence the ringing sort that filled the space, like the few seconds after being struck with a blow so hard it made everything rock and tip. 

Lup was sat at the table, her eyes red and raw, her hands shaking as she folded and unfolded the letter with its stiff official paper and stark black type. 

“Lulu?” Taako murmured, voice hollow already, even not knowing. But he could guess. 

His sister slid the letter across to him, her chin setting in misery as that small action brought fresh tears. He picked it up and read, an action he struggled with at the best of times but even more so when his heart was hammering sickeningly and the words were ones he didn’t want to read. 

The bank had run out of patience. They had a week to come up with the full amount to purchase the house before it became the property of the bank and they were trespassing on the floorboards they’d walked every day for the best years of their lives. The figure still left to pay was so far out of what they currently had, it may as well have been the number of stars in the sky. 

“Taako,” Lup’s voice trembled, “What are we going to do?”

He couldn’t answer. He looked for those ways out now, the move he’d need to make to win this game but he couldn’t see it, it was impossible. He’d been doomed to fail from the start, doomed by his hesitance, his recklessness, his selfishness. He and his sister would be right back where they’d started their lives, homeless and without safety, scared and alone and exactly where he’d promised her they would never be again. 

And what was he going to do?

Taako let the letter fall, looking at Lup helplessly, seeing the five minutes that made him the oldest stretch to an impossible distance between them, littered with all his broken promises. But not so far he couldn’t see the terror in her eyes. 

What he did was what he’d always done when things had become difficult. 

Taako turned on his heel and he ran. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako finds the life he knew in ruins.
> 
> But maybe now he can build something new

Taako didn’t realise where he was going until he was halfway there. 

While his eyes were streaming and his heart was pounding and his breathing was coming in raw, aching gasps that were no use, his feet walked him back to the last place he’d felt safe. To the only place they could think to go. 

The mansion looked even more imposing in the night, cast in greys and only sparse lights in the window, a handful of eyes that regarded him pityingly. Coatless and shivering, Taako knew he’d look a fool if he knocked on the door now but even that was better than the alternative of going back. So he did. 

The same butler answered, with his downturned mouth and suspicious eyes. Before Taako could even say anything, not that he’d be able to say anything that excused his tear streaked face and ridiculous dress, he scowled as professionally as a butler could and said, “I’m afraid it is far past the acceptable hours to come calling, sir. You have to leave.”

“I...I know that…” What time was it, even? When had he left? How long had it taken for everything to fall apart? “But I just...I need…”

His words trailed off, realising he was asking the impossible of himself, that he didn’t know what he needed. And then it found him. 

“Taako?”

Kravitz appeared at the foot of the stairs, just behind the butler’s shoulder. He was wearing just his night things, a nightshirt under a loose banyan, looking so much softer even than on their afternoons together, soft haired and sleepy eyed. Clearly he’d been about to turn in, perhaps caught just on his way to collect a glass of water or a nightcap even. 

Taako was starkly aware of how he must look. Wild eyed and shaking, without coat, shoes not even laced, hair untied and in complete disarray, looking like someone had picked up his whole world and shook it mercilessly. Blue lipped and broken hearted and now it was all he could do not to burst into tears on the porch. 

The butler had to practically leap aside to get himself out of the way, Kravitz was so quick to rush to Taako. In an instant the robe was swept off his body and around the elf’s shoulders, soft and warm and smelling of oak and resin and richness, just like Kravitz himself. 

He held his face gently in his hands, so Taako could feel the long healed over blisters from all those strings and all that magic and looked him in the eye, “Tell me.”

And the whole sorry story came pouring out, the letter and the week they had left, Lup’s tears and how he’d let her down, how he’d lost his Auntie’s house, how Lup would never get to marry her love now, how he had to marry in the next six days or have nowhere to go and it would be their childhood all over again, hungry and terrifying and no way out. He lost the ability to stand in the middle of it and Kravitz guided him to a covered bench on the veranda, still holding him, still looking at him, never turning away even as the worst of him came out. 

“I just...I ruin everything,” Taako sobbed, trembling in the expanse of the robe, “I should have been finding a wife this whole time, I should have been getting a job, I should have been studying my magic, I should have not been such a selfish, stupid little  _ shit  _ and now Lup’s suffering too, she’ll feel like she has to marry someone she doesn’t love just to keep the house now, picking up the pieces I leave just like always when I’ve promised again and again it’s the last time...I don’t understand, I try, I promise I try but it just...it just goes wrong because it’s  _ me…” _

“Taako…” Kravitz’s eyes had grown soft and sad, understanding opening up a deep pool within them, “It goes wrong because life has been unfair to you, in so many ways. And I would do anything, believe me, absolutely anything to make that not be the case. But it isn’t your fault.” 

Taako shook his head, like Kravitz was speaking another language that he didn’t understand, “But it is my fault, it has to be. If I was better...if I’d behaved like I was supposed to...if I didn’t...if I wasn’t the way I am, if I just loved the right way…”

He nearly bit through his tongue trying to shut himself up, wincing as even that couldn’t bring the words back. He’d already said far too much, too much to even say in front of your friend, things that were never supposed to be said out loud. Kravitz would have every right to turn cold and disgusted now, if he was any kind of true gentleman, the way gentlemen were supposed to be. He could ask him to leave, cut him out of his life. Hell, he could do a lot more than that and many people of his station would sniff and nod in stiff approval. 

But he didn’t. And Taako realised then that he’d known he wouldn’t. He’d known for a while but had only summoned the accidental bravery to say it out loud in his despair. Less a leap of faith, more an accidental stumbling off the edge of a cliff while blinded by tears. 

But the fear was still there, of course it was. Falling was still falling. 

But Kravitz still held his shoulders, anchoring him to the ground. He hadn’t looked away from his face, not once, still seeing him for everything he was. 

“Taako...when you love the right way, I don’t think it has anything to do with who it is or what we’re told. I think it matters that you make each other smile, that you feel safe with them and that you don’t have to hide with them because you know...you know they’ll love you all the same. It matters that life feels better when they’re around. That you both get a say and you know they’ll listen and that you feel yourself light up when you see them. That makes it right. That makes it love.”

Taako swallowed unable to speak, his heart hammering. 

“I just don’t see how this could be wrong?” Kravitz whispered softly, like he was just as unsure, “Do you?”

Taako didn’t have time to think about his answer because then their lips were together. Who leaned in, who closed the gap, it was impossible to tell and impossible to care once it was done. Kravitz’s hand left his shoulder to cradle his face, Taako’s fingers bunched tight in the silk and he inclined his head to feel every slight movement of Kravitz’s lips against his own. It was like the bitter air couldn’t touch them, like the darkness pulled away from them to give them only the most beautifully silvered moonlight. Everything became so perfect, so right, as long as they kissed. Everything was okay and Taako could believe everything Kravitz had said. 

As long as they kissed. 

It was the sound of a window closing sharply up above them that did it. That hard, wooden thunk and the delicate rattle of glass drove them apart so sharply and suddenly, the full length of the seat opening up between them in an instant. But not so far that they couldn’t see the fear and tension mirrored on each other’s faces, the same instant reaction of  _ please gods, let them not have seen.  _

And there was the reality to flood in and remind them they were not in a story. They were two lonely, sad young men outside on a winter night, wasting what little time was left wanting things they couldn’t have. 

Taako exhaled, his breath ragged and pained, “I’m sorry…” 

And for the second time in so small a span, Taako ran. If the wind had just been a little bit louder, a little harsher in his ears, he wouldn’t have heard Kravitz’s groan of his name in such a broken hearted voice. 

Lup always gave her brother time before she went to talk to him. It was something she’d learned the hard way, after a lot of trial and error and arguments and spells thrown at each other’s heads. Though she did sometimes miss those days when their troubles were so simple. 

So she let him have until dawn, though every minute tore at her, before she rose from her bed and tiptoed down to the kitchen, where she knew he would be, curled up in the corner since she’d heard him slam the front door shut. His ears were folded down over his face and his skinny shoulders were hunched protectively around him, like he was trying to fold himself up small enough that he’d escape the world’s notice. 

He was writing words in the air with simple, wispy purple magic, a list of names in his recognisable handwriting but without a movement of his hands. They were the names of families that shared the valleys with them, the names attached to the manor houses on the hills and in the rich fields. Every family with an unmarried daughter. Most of the names had a thick line crossing them out. 

Lup came and sat beside her brother, pressing up against him so their bodies fit together side by side in that way they did, “Hello there. Back in from the cold?”

Taako nodded, eyes not rising as another name crossed itself off the list. 

“Were you with Kravitz?” she murmured gently, delicately. 

“I…” he looked up, cheeks darkening and not from the cold that still clung to him like a scent, “How…”

“This isn’t quite your style,” she twitched the fringe on the robe still draped around him, “But it’s definitely his.” 

“Can you take it back tomorrow for me?” Taako asked though he was clinging to it with a vice like grip, voice small and miserable. 

“I think you need to talk to him yourself, Koko.” 

His face twisted, hands moving to tangle in his braid which was half unravelled by now, “I can’t, I...I messed everything up last night…” 

“All the more reason to talk to him,” Lup put her hands over his to still them, “I’m sure he wants to talk to you just as much.”

“Uh uh. He won’t, it...it was...it was  _ that  _ kind of ruining everything.”

“Ah…” Lup sighed softly and began to undo his braid so she could make it nice again, just how he liked, “That bad, hm?”

“Yes,” Taako mumbled, cheeks burning, “We kissed. I ran away.” 

Lup couldn’t pretend she was surprised but she hurt for him all the same, letting him lean against her as saying it out loud brought the weight pressing down even more. 

“Why did you run, Taako?” Her tone wasn’t accusatory or harsh or exasperated, just trying to understand, nudging them both towards knowing him a little better.

After a moment, Taako’s breath shuddered in his chest and he sighed, “Because it was nice…”

“Really?” Lup feigned surprise, “I must have been doing it wrong all this time…”

“No, I mean...I mean it was really nice. It was everything I’d ever want it to be and that means...that means I feel things about him that I’m not going to get over,” Taako groaned, the letters wavering for a moment like he was losing his grip on the magic, “It can’t just be some harmless crush, it’s going to ruin everything because I can’t be with him.”

“And...why is that?”

Taako looked up at his sister like she’d lost her mind, “What?”

“Why can’t you be with him? Not legally, I understand that we live in a world run by idiots, believe me. But if he likes you and you like him, then none of that has to matter? Their game is rigged so we don’t play it.” 

“But we  _ have _ to play it,” Taako’s face was tight with exasperation, “Because if we don’t, we lose the house! We lose everything that was Auntie’s, the only family member who actually gave a shit about us! If we don’t then I’ve let you down, I’ve let her down and I’ve ruined everything…”

“Taako,” Lup sighs, stopping with her fingers tangled in his tawny hair, her eyes, a sharper, lighter blue than his fixed on his face, “Home is wherever I’m with you. Home is knowing you’re safe and happy and get to be yourself, just like you’ve let me be. This place, it’s just bricks and dust and things. You and me, we’ve never needed  _ things _ . I don’t care if it’s this house, a tiny room, hell, I don’t care if it’s two different places. Home is us. And I don’t know about you but I’m not going anywhere.”

Taako was quiet for a long time, his eyes swimming and shoulders trembling, before whispering, “Even...even if you go get married to Barry and...and have a different family?”

Lup sighed fondly and tugged his ear gently before finishing his braid and tying it off, perfect as ever, “Any family I have is going to include you, Taako. I promise.” 

“Oh,” was all Taako could think to say, tears streaming down his face. But Lup knew what he meant. 

“So go find this poor fool who's fallen in love with you, okay?” she kissed his cheek and jumped lightly to her feet, pulling him up after her, “Before he comes to his senses.”

Taako nodded, though his smile was still uncertain, “What if he already has? I did...I did turn up at his door late at night, cry on him, kiss him and run away…”

Lup shook her head confidently, giving him the infectious smile they shared. 

“Koko, I’ve seen the way that boy looks at you. There’s no coming back from this.”

Taako tried to make himself look slightly more presentable than the last time he knocked on this door. In his haste, he wasn’t sure he’d managed. 

He was just thinking what he could possibly say to get the butler to let him through, about to settle on just firing off a bolt of magic and running right past, when something incredibly strange happened. One moment he was on the porch, tense and waiting. 

And the next he stood in the middle of the Countess’ parlour. 

Taako was too shaken to yelp the swear word that wanted to leap from his mouth, thank goodness, because the Countess herself was there, sitting in a position eagerly identical to when he’d last left her in this room. Except now there was a black china tea set laid out in front of her, apparently untouched. 

“I apologise, Master Tacco, for the theatrics. I do not normally like to cast spells on people without their consent but I’m afraid our time is short. Do you need to vomit? I would prefer you did not do it on the carpet if that’s the case.” 

“No, my lady…” Taako said faintly, though he did feel damn dizzy. 

“Good. Most do after being transported magically. I applaud your fortitude.” 

Taako could have told her about how he and Lup had been casting that exact spell on each other as a prank since they were children, though neither of them could have managed to do it so cleanly and without even needing to see their target, but all he could care about right then was that Kravitz was nowhere to be found in the parlour. 

“Where…”

“By now my ward will be at the train station,” the Countess’s voice was as steady and smooth and featureless as ever, just like her painted expression, “Hence the need to be swift.”

“The train?” Taako’s voice came out strangled and pained, “He’s leaving?”

“Indeed. To where, he did not share with me. All he said was that he needed to leave immediately and would simply take the first train departing the station. He was packed and gone before breakfast.”

Taako moaned, hands coming up to grip at his hair in distress, “Oh gods, it’s all my fault, I’m so sorry…”

“Strange,” the Countess intoned, “His words exactly.”

_ Of course. Of course he would blame himself when secretly it was your fault, your doing… _

Stop it. Taako shook himself, cutting off that voice, focused enough on the words that rose to counter it that it was almost easy. It was no one’s fault, no one but the world that had made them this way, that had taught them to fear and hate their own hearts. And if they were going to win against it, they would both need to be a little braver and start being a little kinder to themselves. 

“I’m going to go after him,” his eyes snapped up to meet the masks’ and there was a slight twinkle behind them, like that was the answer she wanted to hear, “Can you get me there? Uh, please? My lady?”

“Certainly,” she didn’t even move her hand, let alone murmur an incantation, “Taako?”

“My lady?” Taako felt a familiar, lightheaded feeling and a tingling in his extremities. The parlour seemed to shift and loosen, like it was all printed on vellum. 

“Bring my boy home.”

When the rushing, sucking sound faded, Taako wasn’t standing with his feet in the toilet or on the roof like he would when Lup cast the spell on him. He was standing just outside the small train station that carried folk to bigger and more exciting places than their valley, with it’s plain brick building and one platform. 

And a train, huge and black and belching steam like an iron dragon, waiting to lurch into motion and take it’s passengers away. And one of those passengers was Kravitz, if the black carriage waiting outside the ticket office was any indication. 

Taako’s chest clenched as a whistle sounded, piercing and shattering the quiet country morning that hadn’t quite woken up yet. It was unfamiliar to him, running towards something rather than away from it. But with only seconds before the love of his life was dragged away from him, he was willing to give it a go. 

Kravitz leaned back against the punctured leather of the carriage seat and tried to steady his breathing. He’d already drawn some strange, alarmed looks from the other passengers in the upper class carriage as he’d walked by and sat down heavily, handkerchief never far from his eyes. 

But it was so hard to keep the tears back. He couldn’t help but remember the last time he was sat on a train much like this one, only slowing to a stop rather than shuddering up to speed, seeing these hills and fields for the first time. He could remember his own excitement, his own eagerness to settle and help his mistress build something and find a home, a place he could press into his mental map and know would always be safe and there for him to come back to. A place where he could rest. A place where he could make something as beautiful as all the cities he’d visited and lands he’d walked, in its own quiet way. 

He’d been so sure he would make his mistress proud. 

It hurt to remember it now, nursing the heart he’d broken in his fumbling, hopeless trying. Maybe it had just been too soon. Maybe he just wasn’t ready to settle down and shape himself into a lord he could be proud of. 

Or maybe they’d all been right and Countess Raven really had been wrong to wager everything she’d built on a penniless nobody from the gutter. 

That brought a fresh wave of tears to his eyes. That, the thick glass, the gushing smoke and the slow, lumbering movement that was only just becoming real movement made it hard to know if what he saw was real. He didn’t believe it for a moment, thinking it was just what his tired eyes and aching heart wanted to see. Because why else would Taako be standing on the platform, emerging from the smoke like some gothic hero? 

But then he saw the wetness clinging to his elf’s long eyelashes that were the same honey colour as his hair, catching the early morning light, he watched as his mouth moved to make the shape of his name, showing the gap in his front teeth he knew Taako hated but he could love endlessly. Even in his dreams, Kravitz would never get such perfect details quite right. 

The train was moving now, their two worlds sliding across each other and ready to break. Kravitz saw the heartbreak on Taako’s face, the same as he saw on that ghostly, not quite there reflection of himself in the window, doubled over on the outside world. And to have it happen twice in not even one day would be too much. 

Kravitz had never really understood where his magic came from, it had just been something he’d always known, like how he knew to breathe and eat and sleep. It had saved him numerous times, not least the day the Countess had seen it in him and decided to help him grow it into something he could wield. It just came when he needed it, the well of red that would open up in his chest and make things happen that used to scare and thrill him in equal measures. 

And Kravitz could tell himself now that he was a scholar, he’d studied and practised and travelled and he understood his magic now. He could tell himself that but he wouldn’t ever lose that childlike, delighted thrill when his magic would rush through him at just the right time, warm and welcome as an old friend. 

One moment he was on the train car, the next he was standing on the platform, feeling the warmth of his magic dissipating, replaced by the more complicated but so much more intense warmth he felt at standing practically toe to toe with Taako. The elf gave a sob of relief, clasping his hands over his mouth, though his bewildered grin still shone through. 

“Hello…” Kravitz breathed, giggling a little, hands clasping nervously. 

“Hello,” Taako’s laugh was bubbly and breathless, “Um...what do we do now?”

Kravitz was laughing then too, at the absurdity of it all, “I think we should...talk, probably. About...us and how we feel and how we’re going to...do this. We should do that. But right now, all I want to do is kiss you and...and tell you I love you. Madly. Unwisely. And completely.” 

Taako nodded, eyes radiant with his delighted tears, his ears flapping, “I love you too, Kravitz. I love you so godsdamned much. And I’m not afraid.” 

Kravitz felt like those words alone could be the end of him, if the world they opened up for him wasn’t so worth staying around to see. He looked around them, at the empty platform, the smoke curling around them still as if it was giving them the space and time they needed. And if his magic were pulling it closer, thickening it, then that was just another thing to thank it for. 

Last time it had been impossible to say who moved in, this time it was undeniable it was both of them. The kiss was both of their doing, something they both sank into blissfully for the brief time they were allowed. But there would be more, a hundred more, in the places they’d made where they could be themselves. 

And where they could be together. 

There were tales told of the woman in the mask, the Countess Raven who dwelt in the black manor house on top of the hill. Whispers and gossips and rumours were traded throughout the valley, of her dark magics and her wealth and the flocks of black birds that flitted around her towers of a night. 

In the two months since she’d acquired her newest student, there had been rumours about him too. About his scandalous past as a no good rake, the havoc he’d caused, how he’d never find a wife. And perhaps there were some words spoken about how close he was to the Countess’ ward, how they would never be far from each other at balls, how they went through the town together, laughing and smiling, how both remained unmarried. 

But in the end, it was more fun to gossip about how the Countess bathed in blood. 

“We have a train to catch, my darling,” Kravitz reminded him before he walked through the door but it was just him being his adorably worrywort self. They had plenty of time. 

Plenty of time to see the house before it all changed. 

Things were stored under dust sheets, the more expensive, old style furniture that honestly, neither of them had ever liked, had been packed and sold and new pieces had been brought in that better suited the cosy, warm family home Taako could see this would become. Lup and Barry would reshape it to suit them, suit the future they’d make together. It would always be the bones of the house that Taako and Lup had grown up in but it’s purpose and face would change.

And that was okay. 

“It should all be done by the time we’re back from our trip,” Kravitz smiled, following just behind him, close but letting him have his space to take it all in, “A few pieces still to arrive, some wallpapering to do upstairs…”

“One hell of a wedding present,” Taako smiled, warmed by the memory of Lup’s face and the hug she’d clasped him in when they’d presented the keys just after the ceremony. All bought and paid for by the Countess, signed for by her ward. Theirs, to live in for the rest of their happily married days, whatever weather came their way. 

_ And there will always be room for me.  _

But there would also be cities and mountains and festivals and museums, galleries and forests and beaches. There would be a hundred places to discover and a thousand things to learn. 

And countless meals, with the man he loved sitting across the table from him. 

There was a world out there for Taako, with as much room for him as this home that he knew. 

And he couldn’t wait to see it all. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please consider leaving a comment, it really means so much!


End file.
